Dear Asshole:

Congratulations, Mr. Reagan,

Tomorrow you and the esteemed Governor Riley will have the immense pleasure of turning one irreparably fractured family into two. I can see the logic behind your decision: if Candace Brown's family has to suffer, then it's only natural for Michael Land's family to be hurt as well. No, none of them had anything to do with the crime, but surely they deserve to be punished anyway. Why have just one mother lose her child when we could have two innocent women mourning their children for the rest of their lives? I'm sure that's what Jesus would have wanted.

No, wait... murder is a sin, isn't it? I seem to recall hearing that somewhere. Although, I suppose it's not murder if you're sitting behind a desk encouraging a death sentence and not pulling a trigger yourself, or depressing the plunger on a syringe. And if the laws of Alabama say you can kill someone, well, surely God will agree, right? After all, sentencing a man to death does resurrect the victim and return her to her family... oh, no, that's not quite right, is it?

I sincerely hope you enjoy sitting down to dinner tonight knowing that you have inflicted pain on people who don't deserve it and accomplished nothing else in the process. When you go to church Sunday morning perhaps you can ask your pastor or priest to review that whole "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place to wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, said the Lord" thing with you, since you seem to have been asleep for that part.

Have a good evening, Mr. Reagan. And sweet dreams.

--Kristyn Sherman Brown

Livid and disgusted... again

Bored? Email sonny.reagan@governor.alabama.gov and tell him he's a hypocritical, inhuman piece of shit.

Merriam-Webster tells us that homicide is the killing of one person by another. Period. No mention of legality or of public figures being exempt from that. So, logic would then lead us to the conclusion that the guy who causes one man to be poisoned to death is, in fact, responsible for that homicide. Right? I'm not a fucking super-genius; if I can work this one out on my own, then why can't the lawmakers in this state?

Bob Riley is an asshole and a moron, and so is every motherfucker who works for him. And every last one of them has blood on his hands. It makes me wish I believed in hell so I could tell myself they would go there.

Just fucking kill me. Really.

How can I still be sick? I've had more medication in my bloodstream for the last month than an Eli-Lily lab rat and, still, I want to sleep for 18 hours because as soon as I get up I know I'm going to hurt, throw up, and want to go back to bed. Sometimes in a different order, but always those sensations. Even the doctor who reviewed the urine culture looked at it and said, "How the hell did she do that?" Because, apparently, it's difficult to get three separate bacteria colonies going in your kidneys when you don't live in a third-world country or roll around naked in a dumpster in your spare time.
This is bullshit.
Enough whining, I have a republican to harass.

Yes, I'm one of those angry letter writers; observe:

"M. L@#$ was convicted in the May 1992 killing of 30-year-old C. Brown. A federal judge had tossed out the death sentence because L@#$'s lawyer didn't tell jurors at sentencing that L@#$ HAS AN IQ OF LESS THAN 70 and was classified as mentally retarded. In general an inmate who is to be executed must have an IQ at a level 70 or higher. The state's high court said Thursday that it has scheduled the execution of M. L@#$ for Aug. 12."

Senator Shelby,

With all due respect, I have a very serious question: How can we, as a state, execute a man who has an IQ of less than 70? Is this a ploy by the DOC to enforce the rest of the country's view that we are a backward state of uneducated, inbred, toothless, morons? If so, congratulations; it's a great one.

When I was given an IQ test at the age of six, I scored a 140. Mr. Land is half as capable of reasoning as I was as a first grader. While I DO, in fact, support the death penalty (within strict parameters), and staunchly agree that he should not be freely roaming the streets, and that the victim's family has the right to see him punished by the justice system, the retribution-murder by the state of Alabama of a man who is considered to be mentally retarded is NOT justice, it is not going to fix anything, it is not going to bring the victim back to her family-- it is going to destroy another family.

This execution is inhumane, it is barbaric, and, frankly, it is embarrassing to me as an Alabamian and as an American. This is why people leave the South and become those "East Coast Liberals" we hear so much about. No intelligent person with any sense of empathy could bear being associated with such an atrocity.

It is my sincere hope that you will read this in time, and act to save the life of a man who, though a wrong-doer, does not deserve to be murdered by the state for the commission of a crime he is not even mentally capable of fully understanding.

As a closing note, I would like for you to know that Mr. L@#$'s grandfather is a ninety-year-old veteran of World War II who was notified two days before Independence Day that his grandson was going to be killed. Happy Fourth of July, Airman.


Sincerely,

Kristin Marie Brown

A little irritated

How can the state execute someone with an IQ of under 70? Violent crime or not, that's fucking backward and inhumane. Lock him up, fine; but destroy another family in a tragedy for the actions of someone who probably has the reasoning capabilities I had when I was 11? Is this Texas?
I'd also like to point out that capital punishment has NEVER been shown to decrease the murder rate. Ever. Anywhere.
To add insult to injury: notifying a 90 year old WWII veteran on July fucking 2nd that his grandson is going to be killed... happy goddamn Independence Day, thanks for your service, now fuck you.
I know some politicians who are going to be getting some pissed off emails this afternoon. Of course, they won't give a fuck, but I have to alleviate my rage somehow and I'm not strong enough to punch things.

Less

I'm not very angry today. I was quite frustrated earlier, then a bit worried for a while, but not really angry. Well, there was about an hour where I wanted to kill Kevin and feed his mutilated corpse to pigs, but that's so normal I hardly consider it anger anymore.
I suppose the anger factory has been suspended because of the happiness and creativity. I've been seeing Ella, got to ride in the Jeep (though not DRIVE it... PATRICK!), I've been writing and spending bits of time with friends. I've been out. I've also gotten a lot of sleep. I've been having good dreams. The money nonsense seems to be coming together, mostly. I get a quick road trip on the 3rd and 4th, and get to stay in a hotel room-- for some reason I have always loved hotels.

I'm babbling. I should be writing. Going to the journal now.

P.S. Who's been reading Catcher in the Rye in my bed? It better be who I think it is.

"I got my body and my mind on the same page, and honey now happiness is all the rage..." Promise Ring

Futility

It's not that I think it's about me... it's not. At all. But I'm not ready for another round of sadness and death. I've had more than enough of that, and I don't want to go through it; I damn sure don't want someone I love going through it.

So, you better fucking fix this, Universe. If you don't, in the immortal words of Hunter S. Thompson, you're going to have me on your hands.

I know the story of that family, you know. And it's just not fucking fair; they've had more than enough tragedy and hurt and loss. It has to fucking ease up at some point.

Right?

"If you fall apart again, then you can find a friend..." Brandi Carlile